Hey guys! It’s the strangest thing, but I feel like I’ve written this post before…

Oh, that’s because I have. A couple of different times, starting about 75 posts ago.

Fortunately, there is a pretty notable difference in my tone and my attitude as I propel myself into the next stage of my journey, which I’ll get to in a sec. It’s clear to many of you at this point that I might appear to change my mind a lot. You might be right, but it goes a little bit deeper than that.

Oh great, this shit again…

You may have seen my Instagram post yesterday, and this post is basically an illustration about what the hell I’ve been getting at this whole time.

I quit my day job…again, to work on my blog…again. This time, however, the exit was significantly better planned, and I’m already working a full training load at the Old Town Hot Springs, teaching yoga and working with clients. I’ve also become a spin instructor, which I like A LOT more than I thought I would. (Thanks Holly)

So what happened to all the other plans?

While in Denver and since, these things happened:

• I became a level one sommelier
• I studied for my Cicerone exam to become a certified beer snob
• I actually got a bartending certification through BarSmarts
• I tried my hand at a traditional sales job sitting at a desk all day
• I became the warehouse manager for an Interior Design Studio

What is the underlying theme in all of these “accomplishments”?

They had nothing to do with anything I am actually passionate about.

I’ll add one more thing to this list:

• I became a peer-to-peer counselor for the local first responder community in Routt County.

No, I am not a first responder, but I strongly considered becoming one and was deterred because, as my firefighter-paramedic friend put it: “why, so you can just fuck yourself up, too?” And that position led me to realize where my passion truly lies:

I am here to help people, and the way I am going to do that is through this blog, my yoga classes, my training career and eventually through a career in counseling, not as a first responder, but FOR first responders and other people who are dying because of preventable psychological distress.

THE RESISTANCE!

Some of you may be familiar with Steven Pressfield and his incredibly inspiring work in his books Turning Pro and The War of Art. If you haven’t read them, you should.

What I have been struggling with is the fear of failure (or success) that deters so many people from following their dreams. Pressfield notoriously calls this “the Resistance”, and it’s a real sonofabitch.

I was afraid of not having enough money, so I kept bartending. I was afraid of looking like a loser, so I tried sales. I was afraid of putting myself out there and doing the work, so I worked in a warehouse for a year and a half.

It’s so strange that it took me this long to realize that everything has always worked out fine for me, and it will continue to do so. So beginning today, as Pressfield would put it, I’m Turning Pro.

The Future of EMY

This blog is the centerpiece of everything I’ve been working towards, and I now have ample time to work on it and turn it into the vibrant, organic extension of me that I have always wanted it to be.

This site will be a hub for yoga classes and tutorials, a vlog (which scares the shit out of me), music that I either create or playlists for my spin and yoga classes, meditations and eventually online training, including courses to help others learn and grow.

Finally, I am going to parlay all of the knowledge that I develop as I work my way toward becoming a counselor to help men deal with depression, PTSD, addiction, and suicide. All of these things tie in in one way or another, and this will be my life’s work, regardless of whether I die next week or 50 years from now.

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Hopefully this post gets through to at least one or two people younger than me so they don’t cower against the Resistance the way I have. In the meantime, I will be doing the things that I love because nothing is certain and I literally could die tomorrow– would I really want to die feeling like I didn’t give this thing a shot?

Thanks for all your love and support guys. Love you all, and I’m looking forward to sharing my world with you.

-Cam

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