So if you haven’t noticed, putting a Spotify link at the top of the post is like, my new thing, man. Also, if it seemed like I had my shit together in that last post, consider this the story behind how I came to those conclusions 😉
In this case, A Day In The Life is not only one of my favorite Beatles songs, but as I would find out as a stoned teenager, it was also the first song that they produced that was psychedelic enough to mimic the creeping anxiety of an acid trip as it’s big orchestral crescendo builds into a wall of sound.
It is the sound of overwhelm, and this is how my brain has felt (sounded?) for the last 30-40 days.
In my last post, I alluded to how I always blurt out my plans, and how Lauren is always the kindhearted spouse who patiently guides me away from the ledge. Despite her best efforts, my brain has been on 100% maximal exertion mode for about four months now and I just FINALLY emerged from the fog.
My Path To Utter Overwhelmed Defeat
Here’s a not-so-short list of the things that I was absolutely determined to accomplish during what I initially considered a “break” as CoVID ramped up.
- Learn to write code and become gainfully employed as a developer within six months
- Get in the best shape of my life— whatever that means.
- Finish in three months a guitar course that is intended to take a year or more
- Re-learn Ableton inside and out
- Become an expert in Adobe Illustrator, InDesign, Photoshop, and Premiere Pro
- Learn DSLR photography
- Begin a side hustle in copywriting
- Become a graphic designer and start my own freelance business
- Start (and attempt to finish) my 500-hour yoga certification— this is a one- to two-year task, easily.
- Become a death doula
- Get certified as an addiction counselor
- Launch an online yoga course and website
- Build my Instagram following
- Film 100 yoga classes in 100 days (ended on day four)
- …the list goes on…
Listing these things was almost like a purge for me just now; some of them were actually written in journal entries and whatnot. Jeez.
Did I finish all— or even some— of these goals? Not really. Minor success was overpowered by major anxiety and I became paralyzed in my sense of dread and failure. It was the equivalent of a month-long sob/sigh by the end.
For every small success I had, I would only feel like I had more to do. Sound familiar?
In short, I completely and comprehensively overwhelmed myself. I eventually realized that I was doing this more to impress people than because I actually needed (or wanted) to complete all of these things. Throw a bonafide addiction to political news on top and YOU, sir, have a recipe for failure!
I was essentially trying to become one of those assholes who lists all of his incredible accomplishments on social media while toasting the new year.
Gross.
What I Did About It
I’m not even going to say which of these things I’m actually doing now, because that would be dumb.
Suffice to say, at least a couple are still in play. Mainly, I write this as a warning. If your list of ambitious accomplishments looks like mine, there is a very high likelihood that you are doing way too much. Very un-yogic, and pretty much the opposite of mindful.
Maybe instead, you can just do what I did: take a breather, take a break and regroup. Then remember that the more you try to do will produce increasingly diminishing returns. Fortunately, this blog has risen as one of my main priorities. Maybe the most yoga teacher-ish thing that I’ve done this year was to simply say “Cam, it’s okay to let yourself off the hook”, which led me right back to my old friend, writing.
I’m a work in progress like the rest of you guys, so if you feel like this, you’re not alone. Leave a comment below if you feel like sharing your story, too.
Be well.
If you’re new to yoga and you’re looking for the necessary stuff (mats, blocks, towels to dry your newbie yoga tears) check out the link below. I’ve got a Manduka mat and some awesome cork blocks that I’ve used for years and they look brand new. Check ’em out! (note: everyman yoga receives a small commission of purchases made through this here link.)
Gear up for the New Year! Fun new prints and colors – meet our legendary quality products. Shop NEW now at Manduka.com!